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Genie in the Bottle

Sat May 30, 2009, 6:31 PM
Even though James C. Max is a very serious physic scientist, he can be really cool when he saw something totally supernatural. This may be because his wife is a sexy psychic. Anyway, this genie is sitting next to the fireplace, looks utterly pathetic. After Mr. Max’s repeated adjurations, he (or it) eventually took off his (or its) little green spire-like hat and shows his (or its) hairy ears to the host.

“Would you excuse me,” Mr. Max says. He then stands up and leaves the lobby. Mary is getting him a cup of coffee.

“Is that a genie?” she asks.

“At least he says so.”

“He looks bigger than I thought,” Mary comments, “but I don’t think he will be quite useful.”

“For?” Mr. Max answers, “Anyway, I think this is a joke.”

The genie sits in the lobby, completely poor looking. Well, most people may guess he is just a dumbass farmer who does not know a bit of manner on dressing unless they saw his (or its) hairy ears.

“I have no idea what is going on,” Mr. Max says with a low voice.

“You gotta be careful,” Mary tells him, “usually I guess he is a creep.”

After drink the cup of coffee, the genie looks much better. Mr. Max comes back to his sit and speaks to this weird dark creature.

“So, what was your name again?”

“Oh, I am Klunalias Gostafer Longpersdicsky,” the genie answers, even with a little aula on his (or its) face. “It’s a name after my grandfather. He is 8000 years old now.”

“Oh, OK. Sir, let’s just keep on our topic. So we just talked about Archimedes.”

“Yes, yes. He was my first master. Honestly, he is totally crazy,” the genie says sadly. “I served him for 20 years, and then when the Romans came, he puts me back to the bottle for hundreds of years!” He (or it) cries while he is talking, and then he uses his hairy hands wipe the tears off.

Mr. Max cannot stand this ugly scene, so he interrupts the genie’s self-pity, and asks, “So what did you say about the bet between you two?”

“Oh, the bet. Well, I don’t want to mention it again. He is such a jerk!”

“All right, anyway. So how did you come out in Michael Faraday’s notebook?”

“Yeah, that was a long story. If you have the list of my former masters, you will definitely know what was happening. I don’t want to bullshit too much about what happened. What happened is what happened, right?” Klunalias looks into James’ eyes and says, “All your physic scientists are crazy! Say the Mr. Faraday. He told me, ‘Hey, you have been with for a while. There is nothing really you can do for me.’ So he puts me back into the bottle without saying goodbye! You know, he asked me for tons of coils, but never asked me for a penny. How straight was that?!”

“James, are we going to have a dinner with this gentleman?” Mary asks in the sideway.

The genie suddenly becomes shy and says, “No, no, sir, and my lady. I think we need to get this thing done first.” He gets a piece of paper from nowhere and gives it to Mr. Max. The paper looks old and dirty.

Mr. Max extends the paper on his table and look closely, Klunalias keep saying, “We will have a bet. If you win, I will be your servant, but if I win, you will have to give your soul to me. Then I will be a man, a real human!”

“Does it have to be this way?” Mary asks.

“Yep, for thousands of years! You gotta heard some sorta stories.”

“There may not be much benefits for me,” Mr. Max says, “What can you do for me?”

“A lot,” Klunalias extends his (or its) hand, and there is unfailing supply of gold coins come out. “Money, women, power, or anything!”

Mr. Max becomes curious, and tells Mary, “We will eat later. Get me a pen.”

The rule of this bet is simple. Mr. Max will have to give Klunalias a question. If Klunalias cannot solve this question within 24 hours, the winner will be Mr. Max. Of course, Mr. Max has to know how to solve this question.

“This may not be that easy,” Mary tells James quietly.

“Hey, babe. I saw there are names on the paper. Aristotle, Galileo, Newton, Copernicus, almost every physic scientists I know are on this paper! In the thousands of years, there are on one who lost the bet. I don’t think I will be the first one.”

Mary blinks at him and asks, “So how are you going to make it difficult for him?”

“Honestly, I want to this chance to do an experiment.”

While the genie is going to tear his hat apart, Mary gets the poor hat and put it on the table. She kindly leads the genie to Mr. Max’s basement.

“I think it’s done now.” Mr. Max comes down and talk to Klunalias, “This way.”

They are looking at a set of shinning glass utilities. There is a big glass bottle with two rubber plugs on each side. In the middle of this bottle, a vertical septum separates the bottle to two parts. There is some ethoxyethane on one part.

“Are you asking me to go into this bottle?” The genie says madly.

“Yep. Let’s see if you can find a way out.”

The genie stands there for a while, and then cries and reduce his (or its) size and goes into the bottle. Mr. Max plugs the bottle after he saw Klunalias sat on the floor of the bottle with his invisible tears.

The genie flies around in the bottle. We all know in every story, the biggest enemy of genies are bottles. So no matter how powerful is this genie, he (or it) cannot just unplug the plug and goes out. Of course he (or it) can also keep reducing his body until he is even smaller than an atom. Then he (or it) will have enough space between each atom on the glass wall of the bottle and flies out. Unfortunately, the electrostatic force will suck this poor creature to the nucleus and the genies will never be able to get out of it. That’s how his (or its) father died (theoretically he is still on the surface of one nucleus and remains alive). Obviously, Mr. Max has considered this on this his interesting experiment. Oh, this life-and-death bet.

We have to confront that Klunalias has a very clever mind. At least after the hundreds of failures, he (or it) knows something about these scientists. After the depression at first, he (or it) tries to shrink a little smaller and exam every inch of the glass wall.

After drinking another cup of Starbuck, Mr. Max and his wife go to see the genie. Klunalias enlarges his (or its) body so that Mr. Max and Mary can see him (or it).

“I found two small holes on the septum. They are really tiny, but I went to the other side. There is nothing but crazy gas,” Klunalias says.

“Those holes were not prepared for you,” Mr. Max apologizes, “I made them small. It will be better for the experiment.”

Klunalias is totally confused, but he soon says, “I guess I will know what you mean shortly.” Then he shrinks and disappears in the bottle.

When they walk out of the basement, Mary smiles to his husband and says, “I think you are winning, James. Can you please tell me this secrecy?”

“In fact, I want to know if he can separate the hot and cold air. In other words, the fast and slow air. It’s a question about entropy,” James says in the clouds. “Let’s go sleeping, darling.”

Soon, after intense emotions and violent physical movements and three times of ultimate expressions, James and Mary fall into sleep at this hot and humid night.

Next day, after the delightful breakfast and a little bit of flirting about last night, James and Mary go down the basement.

“How is it going?” Mr. Max bents his body down and stares at the bottle. The ethoxyethane is still at the same level like when he left yesterday. “It looks like your work did not really help out much,” then he claims.

“You’d better try yourself, sir!” Klunalias enlarges himself (or itself) again and shouts, “This is getting insane! I try to put the faster air on one side, and the slower air on another side. However no matter what I did, they keep becoming the same speed!”

Mr. Max is shaking his head, and Mary asks, “Why do you look disappointed, James?”

Mr. Max did not answer anything, but says to the little genie, “Are you still going to try for the rest of the time?”

“No! You win! Let me out!” he (or it) shouts.

After Mr. and Ms. Max passed away, they have a small garden in the corner of hell. Not many years later, they built a new five-star hotel upon the garden.

“So, how is your new master?” Mr. Max asks Klunalias.

“Oh, he is nice. But he asked me to put a cute kitten into a small black box lately. Poor thing, until right now, nobody knows if it is alive. My master, however, said proudly, ‘I created a creature that is alive and dead in the same time!’”

“What does that mean?”

“Haha, I cannot tell you. But like you asked me, today I bring you the most difficult question I had ever been asked.” Klunalias creates a blackboard from nowhere and says, “Some people like to use holograph now, but I still like this old shit.”

He (now we eventually can call him he) draws two beautiful circles and asks, “Make them spinning in the same direction!”

“Wow! I am impressive, buddy.” Mr. Max says in a good mood. “You should stay and have a cup of tea. I will have to call Newton and Einstein to help me out about this.

“Are they friends of yours.”

“Yeah, we have afternoon teas every day. If Archimedes did not forget this time, he may come too.”

“Oh, you made a lot of friends here.”

“Yeah, hell is a nice place. All our scientists are here. We just built our new spaceship hotel, you know. Jesus and his buddy Paul just came to my hotel last week, I want to give them a presidential suite, but they can’t even afford the cheapest room here. Finally I persuade them to stay here for free. They are funny guys. There is one time they were shocks by the room service phone call. Later I heard that in the Heaven, they run to each other for messages.”

“Oh, poor men. My grandfather used to serve for the God. He called himself El Shaddai in the old time. He is really acquisitive. My old man ran and worked like a bee in the seven days.”

“Yep. Jesus told me he is an old fuddy-duddy. But I still like to meet him some day.” James laughs and picks up a phone call, and then he tells Klunalias, “Oh, Archimedes is coming.”

“Oh, damn. I gotta go.”

“Why, what did he ask you to do?” Mr. Max is curious.

“He asked me if I can give him a pivot.”

  • Mood: Neutral

It's hard to get photographs of people

Sun May 3, 2009, 8:35 AM
I wonder how does those great photographers get people's photographs. Usually people will reject to take any photographs or try to stop you while you are taking photographs of their friends (even though the one who is taken photographs does not mind).

  • Mood: Sadness

What happen when you go to Moore Tire Service?

Fri Apr 17, 2009, 8:19 PM
First of all, I have to introduce myself. I am a Chinese undergraduate student who studies in Seton Hill University (SHU). Recently, I had been trick by a machinist, and I am going to receive a citation from Greensburg Police for something I did not do. However, the craziest thing is that even if I did not get my car fixed, I am still charged around $150. Alright, let's start the journey to figure out what was happening during last month:

It has been a while. When I brought my car few weeks ago, I tried to find a place to do the inspection. People from other states may be confused about inspection. It is a service that any driver has to do to get a stick so that he or she can drive legally in Pennsylvania.

The place I went to is the closest Auto Service from my campus. It is right down the hill, probably not even 1 mile away from SHU's parking lot. The owner of this auto service, Moore Tire Service, is an old man. He is bald, short, and wears a pair of silver glasses. Some white hairs grow around his bald head making him look smart and skillful. I talked to this guy, knowing his name is Dennis. Dennis gave me the price of inspection is $30 for the inspection and $35 for the admission. It is a very acceptable price, so I was happy to do the inspection in his store, Moore Tire Service.

I left my car in his place, and then I received his phone call the next day. He told me that I need to change the tires in order to pass the inspection. He is going to charge me $95 for each tire, and he also found some other issues. When I went down the hill, he told me that he thinks my wheel bearing is problematic, but he did not even remove the wheels of my car. He also claimed, he found the check engine light is on, so I can't pass the inspection before he figures out what is wrong in the car.

However, SHU has an Easter Break on the week. The school will not allow me to stay in campus unless I pay $60 everyday. Rather than stay and pay a pretty expensive price, I went on a trip. On the trip, I noticed that the tires of my car were not working well, so I stopped by on an auto service in New York. They replaced my tires by $360 at total. Then when I went back, I told Dennis what happened, and he is OK with that.

However when I went to Moore Tire Service yesterday, Dennis claimed my car had problem with Air Pump and Wheel Bearing, so he needs almost $700 to fix it. Since I could not afford so much, I told him I don't want to fix them. However, he claimed that he had already figured out the problems of my car, so I have to pay for his work and time loss. He asked for $250. It is very unreasonable, so I argue that I should only pay the $30 inspection and maybe another $30 for his time loss. Dennis did not accept my offer and kept saying that he has to get what he desires. His wife said, "This is a business place, you gotta pay what you gotta pay." But is it really what I gotta pay? It seems that the argument is not going to solve anyway, and I did not have $250 with me. I asked them if I can pay a part of the price and come back later to pay the rest. I was thinking maybe I can find some local friends to argue with them later. Dennis and his wife still refused my proposal. In this case, I really can't argue with them any further. I went out and started my car and tried to leave. Dennis ran out and tried to open the door in my car. I was threatened, so I reversed and hit the gas. My car was reversing quickly and hit a wall, and then I move forward and left.

When I am still worrying about the damage on my car, a police car came and pulled me over (they reacted really quickly). Apparently, Dennis called the police. The police officer who pulled me over was really nice. He wore a pair of sun glasses, really young, and shining nob. I explained the whole story to him, and review the scratches on my car. They were not too bad, so I was feeling better at that moment. Then the police officer asked me if I can go back to the store and work things out as a group. I said yes and went back shortly.

However, the shinning nob officer did not come with me. I was waiting in my car for his showing up until another officer knock my windows. I was asked out by the police officer who has crew-cut, slightly separated front teeth, and tall around 6 feet. His name is also Dennis. So this Officer Dennis did not allow me to explain anything but asked me go inside the store. The owner Dennis lied to the policeman that I hit one of his cars, and ran away. I was trying to argue but Officer Dennis did not let me. He said, "You are the bad guy here." Then the owner Dennis claimed I have to pay him $150 for check in my car (instead of what he previously claimed as $250), and however money it needs to be paid for fixing "the car I hit". The Officer Dennis said I will receive a citation because I hit a car and left. I told him that I did not hit the car but the wall, and he said, "Then you will receive a citation that you hit a wall and ran away anyway, if you want." It seems that they already had the conclusion of everything, and I the one who needs to pay the bill. I did not have enough money with me on Thursday, so I only paid $50. Officer Dennis let me leave, but they are still going to accuse me by opening a small claim court if I do not pay the rest of the bill by Monday!

It has really upset me because I did not leave right away when Dennis claimed I need to pay him $250. He did not give me a price when I came in (well, the price he did give me is $30), and I tried to argue with him that $250 is a crazy price. Plus, I could not afford $250 anyway. Dennis kept his big price and jumped out to stop me from leaving, which caused my car hitting the wall. He should be the one who is responsible for the scars on my car (even though they are small). Moreover, he made up story and provided dishonest price.

I don't know who/what department I should complain this to. I could not afford a lawyer myself. So I can only write this letter to Chinese Embassy and Greensburg Administration Office. I went to see Officer Dennis today. After I claimed what happened, he became nicer and told me that when I receive the ticket, I can claim I am not guilty and go to court house. I need to sit down with Officer Dennis and the owner Dennis, and argue with the really situation. I will still receive the criminal case if I do not pay for the unreasonable price. Now I am looking at a society that so unfamiliar to me - a society that looks fancy on TV or Movie, and sounds awesome when people mention the liberty and justice. This is the story of how a Chinese young man came to America to look for his justice but involve with something totally opposite.

  • Mood: Anger

Break the Viscious Circle Of Male Chauvinism

Fri Mar 6, 2009, 8:55 AM
Today, the surrounding of media suffocates people with a mess of visual or acoustic information. Television, popular music, movies, print advertisments, magazines, and websites had formatted as systematically informational platforms, which forcibly push millions of pieces of oppressive information to people daily. The information suggests people to objectify women under the mainstream culture from the patrilineal society (Patrilineal systems depend on the principle of passing on property and status from father to legitimate son). Although the objectifications of males also exist in modern media, the presentations of male objects only propose the potency rather than the vulnerability. In this case, the influence from media is more problematic for females than males. Male chauvinism has decreased over years, however it is still noticeable. The media, in turn, help to create a viscious circle of male chauvinism. Therefore, we should break this circle, and protest the male chauvinism in our society.

The appreciation of human bodies has existed for thousands of years. Model advertisements utilize this appreciation to stimulate the biological desire of the audience. When the demonstrations go over the boundaries accepted by the masses, the advertisements open up a series of objectification towards models; especially female models. Moreover, Kilbourne demonstrated, “Sex in advertising is more about disconnection and distance than connection and closeness. It is also more often about power than passion, about violence than violins. The main goal, as in pornography, is usually power over another, either by the physical dominance or preferred status of men or what is seen as the exploitative power of female beauty and female sexuality.” (Killbourne, 417) Today, many scientists or socialist suggests that the model advertising corresponds to the anthropic principle. Modern society is an improvement from a society completely dominated by males. The mainstream of this society was to promote the masculine domination and feminine obedience. It has changed dramatically from the last century. However, the remnants of the patrilineal society still influence the conception of many people in our current society. The advertisements use the aggression of human biological desire to achieve the commercial goals, and the result is the stimulation of the male chauvinism. In this circumstance, the reproductional desire and the manly society perspective compose a vicious circle – the more femininities being objectified, the more negative impacts to the audiences; the more acceptable the objectification of females to the audiences, the more sexually suggestive advertisments will be produced to attract the audiences. The connection in this vicious circle is the audience. Only changing the audiences’ conceptions can break the vicious circle.

The negativity of the objectification in the media is that it pushes females into an adverse social status. In the James Bond movies, female images are widely described as items that successful men can easily get. For instance, in Quantum of Solace, a new James Bond movie, a nameless female secret service was ordered to protect James Bond on his way back to Britain, but the largest portion of her time in the movie is seduced by James Bond into having sex with him in the hotel room. This scene is typical in other formats of the media as well. The male has been repeatedly described as a dominating image. “Indeed the very worst kind of man for a woman to be in an intimate relationship with, often a truly dangerous man, is the one considered most sexy and desirable in the popular culture. And the men capable of real intimacy (the ones we tell our deep, dark secretes to) constantly have their very masculinity impugned.” (Kilbourne, 420) Apparently, the suggestions that the media are making increase the viscious circle of male chauvinism.

Females, on the other side, protest this domination from males. The progress of feminism in last century is phenomenal. Nevertheless, the masculine is yet the domination in our society. One of the many reasons is that a significant part of females found the male chauvinism is somehow acceptable. Like slavery or feudalism, inferior social models can last an incredibly long time in the history. During the long period of those inferior societies, many people would yield or even surrender to the fallacious domination. Today, many females are living under the domination of male chauvinism, and they adjust to this culture without protestation. Morgan states, “Similarly, sistas have to confront the ways we’re complicit in our own oppression.” (Morgan, 448) Males can never fully realise the females’ status, since they can hardly consider in a feminine perspective. Even though a person is composed from both femininity and masculinity, a man commonly content more masculinity. To build a social that males and females can have mutual respect to each other, female is supposed to play a significant role in the protestation of male chavinsim. The voice of femininity is needed to be sounded by the women’s mouthes; and the more proportion of the females participate in this progression, the easilier the culture can be changed.

Overall, the viscious circle of male chauvinism created by the media is nasty. The progress of breaking this viscious circle is hard. Many women surrundered in front of the power of masculinity; some others might once stand up for themselves, but eventually gave up. However, the progress that feminism already made is significant, and the future demonstrated to us is bright. Some people question if females should be silent. The answer is negative. Only females and males come together and fight for their equability, human beings can finally walk out from the shadow of the male chauvinism.

  • Mood: Joy

Equilibrium

Sat Feb 28, 2009, 11:40 PM
In the last thousands of years, men and women, or even the third gender, were dedicating themselves to find a balance of genders. No matter the matriarchal society or the patrilineal society did not successfully issue a solution. Today, feminists are dynamical in the last reign of males’ dynasty. However, scientists and sociologists question, “Is the equilibrium of gender benefits our society?” According to new science discovery, the Bible, and some other traditional religions’ perspectives, the equation between genders shall not be existed. Gender is part of who we are, but not what society put on us. The way to achieve a florescent future being human being should be build on the diversifications between genders’ social statuses.

Hundreds years ago, Sigmund Freud has stated the connection between sexual impact and humanity. In the last decades, most people hiss his idea. However, the evident that sexual illusion is a part of humanity is uncountable. “Researchers used brain scans to show that when straight men looked at pictures of women in bikinis, areas of the brain that normally light up in anticipation of using tools, like spanners and screwdrivers, were activated.” (Sample) This research result strikes the traditional view, which always claims that the social myth is the essential reason that is responsible to wild-spread sexualization of female images. “Sex in advertising is pornographic because it dehumanizes and objectifies people, especially women, and because it fetishizes products, imbues them with an erotic charge – which dooms us to disappointment since products never can fulfill our sexual desire or meet our emotional needs.” (Colombo, 417) There intention of this statement is quite obvious – it claims that it is the advertising products help people objectify females. However, in the sexist test, “The brain scans showed that men who scored highest had very little activity in the prefrontal cortex and other brain regions that are involved with understanding another person’s feeling and intention.” The fact that sexists are easier to understand female as a person shows that the culture myth which cause gender separations came from those non-sexists. A mentally healthy male should see a female as an object in publications. The desires of reproduction and infestation are the source power for gender diversity. In another word, separating the social status of genders is a biological desire.

Although the forms of human culture are abundant and pluralistic in the evolution of human society and culture, the universality of female subordination is an existent fact, which not only exists in any kind of social and economic design, but also permeates in any stage of social development. This cultural character of gender difference is also vividly presented in ancient Israelite culture recounted by the Hebrew Bible. "So God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him." (Bible) According to the Bible, only males are created in God’s image. "And the Lord God formed man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and man became a living being. . . So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, He took one of the manÕs ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib He had taken out of the man, and He brought her to the man." (Bible) The females, on the other hand, are only created from a part of males. Apparently, the Bible clearly indicated the social status for genders – the females are complements for males. However, it does not mean that the status of female is lower. The story of female hero Judith, who killed Holofernes in Bethulia (Beth Aloa – means God’s land), is the representative of the intelligence and courage of femininity. In fact, if the Bible is read wisely; the interpretation will show us how genders stay in each position, and play brilliant co-operations to develop the society.

There are never lacks of attempts of breaking down the different between genders. In the Maya culture, Nakbe and ElMirador, as the center of the civilization, had popular third gender culture. “The third gender culture even becomes the main stream of the society in the end of this civilization. Mayapan, Uxmal, and ChichenItza were led by eunuchs.” (Fei) In Ancient China, Ancient India, and many other ancient culture, eunuchs and homosexual are wildly accepted by these societies. The reason is that within the development of social conscious, part of the society members does not agree with the biologic gender they were born to. While the metal desire were stronger than the biological demand, the free will from inside will determine the modification of gender position within the social status. The third gender is another approach of the same goal for the feminists nowadays. Gender status does not limit the free will of human being. Anyone who does not fit in the social position can always choose one way or another.

Consequently, the gender is a component of our society. Men cannot be pregnant, and women cannot impregnate. Physically, the diversity of genders is existed. The biological diversity demands the sexual objectifying of female bodies for healthy beings. The social contact cannot be separated from sexual impacts. Platonic love is only fantasy for minority. Various examples provide theologically evidential documents to support the gender status in any societies during the last epoch. A mosaic of third gender patterns in many civilizations since thousands of years ago claims the gender does not conflict with the will from a free being. Contrarily, only accepting the gender as a part of us, can we be free. The goal today is the pursuing of gender equilibrium, but not the gender equation. As the part of human being as well as human society, gender shall never be erased. By facing the different and benefiting from the function rather than refusing and denying its incontestable existence, we can receive a splendid future.

  • Mood: Joy

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